There’s Hope In Front Of Me

Does everyone with a chronic illness feel like they’re drowning in medical appointments or is it just me?

Lately, it feels as if they’re never-ending…

Take this last week, for example – I had 6 medical appointments. The week before, I had 6 appointments as well. This upcoming week, I have 5 scheduled. I originally had 7 but I was released from physical therapy on Friday (long story, which I’ll update at another time). All  of April was pretty much the same thing and the rest of May isn’t looking that much better. Honestly, I’m so exhausted from trying to manage all of these appointments and there is barely  time to think, let alone do, much of anything else (e.g. school work). It feels like I’m never going to get a break at this point – and it’s really not helping my symptoms either. The only good part is that we’re finally starting to make some progress.

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I have a few new diagnoses and some possible new treatment options to look forward to, including the possibility of a few surgeries. Although I was skeptical at first, 2016 does seem to be my year after all – it just got off to a slow start I guess. If nothing else, all of this forward motion has given me hope once again.

Hope In Front Of Me

By Danny Gokey

I’ve been running through rain
That I thought would never end
Trying to make it on faith
In a struggle against the wind
I’ve seen the dark and the broken places
But I know in my soul
No matter how bad it gets
I’ll be alright
There’s hope in front of me
There’s a light, I still see it
There’s a hand still holding me
Even when I don’t believe it
I might be down but I’m not dead
There’s better days still up ahead
Even after all I’ve seen
There’s hope in front of me
There’s a place at the end of the storm
You finally find
Where the hurt and the tears and the pain
All fall behind
You open up your eyes and up ahead
There’s a big sun shining
Right then and there you realize
You’ll be alright
There’s hope in front of me
There’s a light, I still see it
There’s a hand still holding me
Even when I don’t believe it
I might be down but I’m not dead
There’s better days still up ahead
Even after all I’ve seen
There’s hope in front of me
There’s a hope still burning
I can feel it rising through the night
And my world’s still turning
I can feel your love here by my side
You’re my hope
You’re the light, I still see it
Your hands are holding me
Even when I don’t believe it
I’ve got to believe
I still have hope
You are my hope