Chronic Illness Put My Olympic Dreams On Hold. Here’s What It’s Like To Watch The Games In PyeongChang

Recently, Bustle Magazine asked me to write a follow-up article to 10 Ways Living With a Chronic Illness is Like Training for the Olympics that was published on The Mighty for the 2016 Summer Olympics. The new article, Chronic Illness Put My Olympic Dreams On Hold. Here’s What It’s Like to Watch the Olympic Games in PyeongChang, went live on the Bustle website today. Check it out and let me know what you think.

There’s Hope In Front Of Me

Does everyone with a chronic illness feel like they’re drowning in medical appointments or is it just me?

Lately, it feels as if they’re never-ending…

Take this last week, for example – I had 6 medical appointments. The week before, I had 6 appointments as well. This upcoming week, I have 5 scheduled. I originally had 7 but I was released from physical therapy on Friday (long story, which I’ll update at another time). All  of April was pretty much the same thing and the rest of May isn’t looking that much better. Honestly, I’m so exhausted from trying to manage all of these appointments and there is barely  time to think, let alone do, much of anything else (e.g. school work). It feels like I’m never going to get a break at this point – and it’s really not helping my symptoms either. The only good part is that we’re finally starting to make some progress.

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I have a few new diagnoses and some possible new treatment options to look forward to, including the possibility of a few surgeries. Although I was skeptical at first, 2016 does seem to be my year after all – it just got off to a slow start I guess. If nothing else, all of this forward motion has given me hope once again.

Hope In Front Of Me

By Danny Gokey

I’ve been running through rain
That I thought would never end
Trying to make it on faith
In a struggle against the wind
I’ve seen the dark and the broken places
But I know in my soul
No matter how bad it gets
I’ll be alright
There’s hope in front of me
There’s a light, I still see it
There’s a hand still holding me
Even when I don’t believe it
I might be down but I’m not dead
There’s better days still up ahead
Even after all I’ve seen
There’s hope in front of me
There’s a place at the end of the storm
You finally find
Where the hurt and the tears and the pain
All fall behind
You open up your eyes and up ahead
There’s a big sun shining
Right then and there you realize
You’ll be alright
There’s hope in front of me
There’s a light, I still see it
There’s a hand still holding me
Even when I don’t believe it
I might be down but I’m not dead
There’s better days still up ahead
Even after all I’ve seen
There’s hope in front of me
There’s a hope still burning
I can feel it rising through the night
And my world’s still turning
I can feel your love here by my side
You’re my hope
You’re the light, I still see it
Your hands are holding me
Even when I don’t believe it
I’ve got to believe
I still have hope
You are my hope

In our last breaths, we will all wonder…

It’s been a tough couple weeks to say the least.

I have so much to update,

but it seems like there’s never enough hours in the day

to do it all.

After lots of

frustration and tears,

not to mention

worry and anxiety,

I sat down,

Took a deep breath,

and realized…

This is not how I want to live my life.

Or how I want to be remembered.

Yes, there’s still a lot to do

and updates may have to wait,

Things will have to be put off to make room

for all the other things.

But none of it will matter when I’m gone.

I won’t be remembered for getting straight A’s in school.

Or for being one of  the many that have struggled with chronic illness.

I still haven’t discovered what my legacy is,

or how I’d like to be remembered,

but I know that I don’t want to leave this world with regrets.

“In our last breaths, we will all wonder

Did my life mean anything?

Did my life mean anything to this world?

Was I loved?

Did I have an impact on anyone else’s life?

Did I matter?”

Leave your Legacy

by

Fearless Motivation

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