Somehow, I still haven’t learned this lesson yet.
I keep trying to do more and more
until my world finally breaks apart
and I’m left exhausted and broken.
I hate that I keep doing this to myself, yet I continue doing it anyway. It’s like I refuse to learn my lesson.
It’s just one thing after another, day after day. It feels like I can’t catch a break.
I feel the stress… the pressure.
I’m losing my mind.
On top if all, I still have a lot of weight upon my shoulders as far as my health concerns go.
I guess it’s just hard because I feel guilty because of all I can’t do because of my illness. I WANT to help. I want to make a difference… in something, somewhere. I want to be a good friend. A good student. A good patient. A good everything…. But I sacrifice myself in doing so.
How much can one person really do, after all? I feel like such a failure because eventually somethings have to be sacrificed. Despite what I wish I was, I am not a superhero. I am a measly human being. Sick or not, I try too hard sometimes to juggle way too many things and I end up hating myself for it.
I really need to learn to say NO and keep my life simple.
I vow to take the time to care for both my mental and physical well-being,
and I will learn to say NO to the things I just can not do,
especially to those who wouldn’t do the same for me.
Although some days I feel like I’m on the verge of exploding,
I will simplify my life and learn how to be happy again, despite my illness.
Because we never know how much time is left to enjoy this world.
I know I owe some health updates and I promise that they are coming soon.